Partner Claire Dyer, in our leading Family Law team, provides tips for separated parents on children arrangements this Christmas.
For children, Christmas is often an exciting time filled with fun, food and festivities. However, for parents who are separated, the run up to Christmas can be an anxious and stressful time, particularly if the arrangements for the children have not been agreed.
Our top tips
Set out below are our ‘top tips’ for approaching discussions with your former partner about arrangements for the children:
1. Start early
If you do not already have an agreement in place about where the children will spend Christmas, it is preferable to initiate these discussions sooner rather than later.
2. Remember the children
This may sound obvious, but it is a necessary reminder. In many instances, understandably both parents want to spend Christmas Day with their children, and this can lead to heated discussions, sometimes in front of the children. The children should not be privy to such discussions or arguments, and the plans should not be shared with them until you as parents have agreed them.
The children’s best interests are the priority, and if calm and sensible discussions can be entered in to, you may be more likely to reach a compromise.
3. Consider the options
There is no ‘one size fits all’ arrangement, and you should consider what is likely to work for your set up. Some families prefer to alternate Christmas Day, while others prefer to split the day. There is no right answer, and logistics will often play a part in how the children’s time is divided between their parents.
4. Keep to the agreement
It is easy to become absorbed in the Christmas celebrations, but do keep to the agreement you have reached. Be mindful of the children when you collect them/drop them off to their other parent, and remain positive and civil if possible.
COVID-19 and Christmas bubbles
Whilst many people usually celebrate the festive period with a glass of bubbles, there are bubbles of another type to be considered this year as a result of COVID-19.
You should monitor any changes in the government guidance, but at the time of writing, the permitted bubbles relevant to separated parents over the Christmas period are as follows:
1. Christmas bubble
Between 23 December - 27 December 2020, up to three households may meet up. There is no restriction in terms of where those households can meet, but the guidance remains to wear a mask where possible, and to keep indoor areas well ventilated.
2. Support bubble
If you live alone (or have children under 18), you are permitted to form a ‘support bubble’ with one other person who lives alone, or with one household whose children are also under 18.
3. Childcare bubble
If you have children under the age of 14, you can form a childcare bubble, which enables you to meet with one other household which also has children under the age of 14, for the purpose of providing and/or receiving childcare.
Once you have your bubble, you cannot change it. Furthermore, if you use your childcare and support bubble between 23 December - 27 December, they will count as the ‘households’ in your Christmas bubble, and you cannot therefore spend time with any other households.
In addition, there is a ‘separated parent’ exception, which enables children (under the age of 18) of separated parents to move between their parents’ homes.
The rules above are on the basis that neither parent nor anyone in the ‘bubble households’ has received a positive COVID-19 test result, and/or does not have symptoms.
Options for resolving disputes
If, as parents, you can’t agree arrangements for children, you could consider the following forms of dispute resolution with which our specialist Family Law team can help you:
Mediation
A trained mediator facilitates discussions between parents, with a view to reaching an agreement. The mediator is independent and will not be able to provide either of you with legal advice, but will encourage you both to put your views across, and try to reach a resolution. It is far preferable for you as parents to reach an agreement, rather than to have a decision imposed upon you, and the mediation process can help to reduce conflict and encourage effective future co-parenting.
Collaborative law
Both parents engage lawyers and often a family consultant to help them resolve issues on which they are stuck. This round table method of discussing child arrangements is particularly helpful for long running or entrenched problems where legal and therapeutic expertise can be combined to provide an effective solution.
Arbitration
If you engage in the arbitration process, a trained arbitrator (often a retired judge or other senior lawyer) will consider both parents’ views and consider the welfare of the children first and foremost. The arbitrator’s costs will need to be met by the parties, and the arbitrator’s decision will be final.
Court application
As a last resort, either parent can make an application to the court for a judge to decide where the children should spend Christmas. However, the result is often that neither parent is entirely happy with the arrangement, but will be stuck with the judge’s decision. Furthermore, the court system is overwhelmed at the current time, and it is likely to be difficult to persuade the court to consider issues such as arrangements for the children, given that court time is prioritised for cases which involve safeguarding concerns etc. Prior to making an application to the court, the applicant would be required to attend a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (save in limited circumstances), and mediation would therefore be sensible starting point in any event. The court route can be adversarial, and may not be conducive to positive co-parenting going forwards.
For further information or legal advice, please contact law@blandy.co.uk or call 0118 951 6800.
This article is intended for the use of clients and other interested parties. The information contained in it is believed to be correct at the date of publication, but it is necessarily of a brief and general nature and should not be relied upon as a substitute for specific professional advice.
